Feelings from within
by Yoochun-fan
Summary: This is a sad Fic about Yuki and Shuichi. It's Shu's thoughts and emotions on life.PLEASE READ!Oneshot


Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN GRAVITATION! MAKI MURAKAMI DOES! sniffles but I do own the lyrics! So hahah! (cough)

(A/N okay this my second fic and it's a one shot with yuki and shu so read and hopefully enjoy)

"Yuki, Yuki, yuki!" yelled Shuichi as he bounced of the walls of the apartment.

"What brat, and do you find it necessary to say my name more than once?" asked a very irritated author.

"I'm sorry; I just wanted to ask you if you would watch the T.V show Bad Luck is performing in. It would mean a lot to me if you did." He seemed almost hopeful, but he had lost the sparkle in his eye within a matter of seconds.

"Why would I do that? It's a pathetic waste of my time." Said Yuki coldly "Now leave me alone and go write some crappy lyrics or something, just get out of my apartment!"

A single acid tear rolled down the singer's cheek as he silently left.

Shuichi walked through the park with a lot on his mind. Everyone thought he was an idiot, they only saw his mask. A simple minded clone of Ryuichi who did as he was told, but in reality he had emotions he never let loose, secrets for only himself.

He stared up at the sky; his feelings were at their limit. Another night spent alone thanks to his lover's stone cold heart. It was tearing Shuichi apart Why did it seem Yuki's goal in life was to make every moment he spent with him painful and cruel.

Shuichi got out the lyrics he had been writing from earlier for the show. He screwed them up and threw them in the trash. That song was mindless drivel of love and happiness, both of those emotions he had yet to experience no wonder he had "Zero talent". Now however he had new lyrics in mind, this son was going to be for Yuki, it fit perfectly.

He got out a pen and paper and started writing, the more he wrote the more tears spilled his eyes onto the paper leaving trails down his cheeks and staining the lyrics. These words were true and so different from his other songs, but he didn't care this was hoe he truly felt.

They were true to his heart and soul. The melody forming in his head as he wrote, this was unlike any song Shuichi he done before. Yet it was the best in his eyes.

He didn't go back to Yuki's that night; instead he spent it at the NG studios working on his song. It was amazing it flowed perfectly. He felt alive in his music for once in his life.

Eventually he fell asleep on a seat with the paper clasped tightly in his grip against his chest.

"Where could that stupid brat be? Maybe he took a hint and left" thought Yuki out loud.

The next morning Shuichi woke up to have Hiro standing over him.

"Hey Shu you been here all night" he seemed concerned.

"Oh umm yeah, I kinda had an idea for our song "Shuichi said while scratching the back of his head. "I thought I'd forget it so I wanted to write it down……heheh"

"Let's see it then" demanded Suguru

They both read though it and looked at eh melody. No one spoke.

"That's some deep shit Shu"

"I thought I would try something new for the show, if they don't like it we don't do again"

"Okay, but are you sure you want it in a minor key?"

"Uh yeah if that's okay" said Shuichi. he was nervous of the reaction he was going to get.

"Alright" said Hiro and Suguru together. Shu sighed he really wanted to do the song if they had said no he wouldn't have a clue what to do.

They spent that day rehearsing the song till it was perfect.

Shuichi stayed in a local hotel instead of returning to Yuki's apartment.

After several hours of failed sleep he decided to go for a walk, before he headed out he wrote a quick note to Yuki, put it in his pocket so he could slip under his door for Yuki to read.

He walked around the park and sat under a tree till the sun came up. It was beautiful. He got up and made his way to Yuki's to drop off the note.

By the time he had got back from Yuki's it was nearly time for the show, Shuichi ran to the T.V station to get ready.

It was 11 o'clock in the morning and everyone was ready to start all they had to do was wait for them to be announced.

Five minutes later Shuichi heard a voice that broke him out of his trance.

"Please welcome our guests Bad Luck!"

Everything went dark as the lights dimmed. Haunting music filled the ears of watches all over Japan including a certain authors.

Shuichi's clear voice penetrated through everything……

_My only feelings on display were anguish and distress,_

_My love for you I confessed,_

_But all you did was destroy and refuse,_

_Took me for granted and my heart you abused._

**This is for you Yuki……**

_I thought you loved me, for you I would die,_

_I told myself I did not feel for you, but my heart new that was a lie_

_We were one you I would always hold dear,_

_But you were the one I began to fear._

**I'm so sorry…………**

_My only feelings on display were anguish and distress,_

_My love for you I confessed,_

_But all you did was destroy and refuse,_

_Took me for granted and my heart you abused._

**I'm such a coward……**

_Day after day I wept into my bed,_

_Voices screaming in my head,_

_Those HAPPY times I said I'd never forget,_

_Now only filling me with regret._

**Please don't blame yourself…..**

_My only feelings on display were anguish and distress,_

_My love for you I confessed,_

_But all you did was destroy and refuse,_

_Took me for granted and my heart you abused._

**This was all a lie……**

_You were the one the light of my life,_

_I plunged into my heart the cold metal knife,_

_You broke me, tore me and snapped me in two,_

_But in death I will always love you_,

**I'm sorry.**

_My only feelings on display were anguish and distress,_

_My love for you I confessed,_

_But now I'm free from the chains of life,_

_All thanks to that blood stained knife._

"Thank you everyone that was our new song feelings"

As Shuichi left he noticed that the crowd was cry as were half the crew

**It's my fault for all this pain…**

Yuki stared at the screen for minutes before he started to grasp a hold on what was going on. He turned around to get a beer from the fridge when something on the floor by the door caught his attention.

He picked it up and immediately recognized the handwriting……Shuichi.

He read it in shock.

_Dear Eiri, _

_I'm sorry for everything; it's the end for me._

_Love Shuichi Always_

Yuki ran as fast as he could, trying to find his Shu, but not knowing where to look. He looked at the note he still had grasped in his hand.

He noticed there was an address of the a local hotel at the top, he speed along blind with fear.

Barging through the doors he ran to the desk asking which room Shindou was in, recognizing Eiri Yuki the man told him the room number.

Shuichi had locked the bathroom door; yuki was banging in it for a response, yet not receiving one. He eventually knocked it down and was about to run in when he saw a sight he would remember for the rest of his life.

Shuichi was laying there lifeless and soaked in blood; Yuki couldn't move the sight had paralyzed him except for the tears that burned down his face.

'**Why' **was the only thing that went through his mind. He looked at his lover's face and saw the answer, for the first time since he had known Shuichi he looked peaceful. No fake mask Shuichi's true self.

Just peaceful.

End!

**(A/N Okay that was my second fic what do ya think? Please review but no flames ! oh yeah thanls for reading)**


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